I woke up this morning to the sound of the ocean waves crashing on the beach; a misty, salty, cool ocean breeze blowing in the wind; and the piercing sound of the smoke alarm going off in the beach house. As usual, I ignored the alarm and took my sweet time wakng up and rolling out of bed. I mosied downstairs to the sound of pots and pans clanging together in the kitchen; a sign that a delicious meal is on the way; and the smell of bacon, eggs, and coffee in the air. Four kiddos just immerging from their slumber on the couches looking up at me with well rested smirks on their face as I suddenly got a burst of energy and ran and jumped on two of them; Ally and Anissa-- my 9 year old and 13 year old adopted sisters in life. (side note-- Im using a lot of semi-colons in this blog and have no idea if they're being used correctly or not-- just pretend with me). After hugging and loving on Ally the youngest for a little bit I got up off the couch, made myself a delicious cup of coffee with creamer (lots of creamer), and made my way out to the balcony where my host-mother/adopted mom Nancy was sitting staring down at the beach. Slowly but surely the adults gathered outside on the balcony with us while we waited for chef Tony to finish up making his gourmet breakfast for everyone.
I'm here in Oceanside, California at a beach house that is ten levels above my class and paygrade with two young families that have given me the opportunity to come share in their blessing and hard work. If you know me, you know that I absolutely LOVE to have a good time and have an inner child in me that will come out randomly and cause commotion and antagonize those around me. You also know that I will take almost any situation I'm in and turn the conversation to a deeper level simply because God has given me a mind that does not stop spinning with curiosity and questions. Simply put-- I love to learn from those around me that I respect and can trust. The conversation on the balcony overlooking the oceanside beach went from laughing about a cartoon show we watched earlier with the kids, to cracking jokes about the Asian fishermen who moved in below us and were taking up our whole beach space catching crabs and stingrays (YES! STINGRAYS!), to me posing the question, "Whats the most rewarding part of being married for 15 years?" The answer? Intimacy. Intimacy?! Doesn't that fall away after month 6 of marriage when you realize the other person has morning breathe, eye crusties, and smelly poops just like everyone else? Nope-- the answer remains. Intimacy. Intimacy grows deeper and deeper the longer you are with someone because the more you get to know them, the more vulnerable you become with each other. The more you allow that person inside of your heart to see every ugly corner of yourself. When you allow those ugly parts to be seen by someone else, and find out they are embraced, loved, and accepted inspite of the person you are embarrassed to show others-- intimacy grows. Everytime. That was the only question we had time for before the kids came out with breakfast and everyone got pulled different directions to get the morning going. I've got a treasure chest full of other questions for them though-- not just marriage related but life in general questions. I've learned to harness how many I fire off in one sitting though. This time; time for just one.
Now I sit in the beach house by myself while the rest of the gang goes for a bike ride on their beach cruisers. Alone time with my thoughts and listening to the still, quiet whisper of my Creator comes less often than I'd like with my busy, hectic, go-go-go life-- so I jumped at the opportunity to stay back and reflect. Listen. Thank HIM.
I feel like I'm living in a fairytale. Some sort of life not connected to the harsh, cold ways of reality. I've done more in the last year and a half than I EVER imagined would happen since I moved to Phoenix. In many ways according to the world I was making a dumb, irrational move when I quit my job in corporate america to go take a full one year, non paid internship, working for a church. Some called me "radical" and an "extremist" and tried to help me be more "rational" in my move. "Em, you don't have to go work for the church. You have a good job that pays well and we are in an economic situation where you should not quit." But in my heart of hearts, in the deepest part of my being, I knew the step into ministry was where I was supposed to go. Again-- for those of you who know me.. know that I am pretty close to thee most indecisive person on planet earth. Some laugh at that, some shake their head in disgust, and some have been extremely hurt along the way which has led me to be VERY careful with who I bring on my rollercoaster with me. I will change my mind a million times over, go back and forth on whether I want a water at the gas station or an iced tea, and I have to go shopping by myself so I have time to waste in the store making up my mind what I want to buy. But this decision to leave corporate america and move into ministry, I was certain, was where I was supposed to go. I've only been that certain about a handful of decisions in my life. So when God gives me THAT much clarity, I dive in and there is no stopping me. Little did I know, that God was about to launch me on the biggest adventure of my life. And this is only the beginning. I'm more jazzed about the journey God is taking me on than words can even express-- and I'm 24 years old.
My next blog I will try and write out the key things that have happened over the course of the last year and 5 months. For now-- my family is back from their bike ride and it's time to hit the beach and get some boogie boarding in. Prayer that sharks dont take off a limb would be appreciated. Hollaaaaa!
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