Dear friends:)

I will try to update this blog more than once a month for those of you who are curious about what I'm up to:) Just an FYI... the title of my blog "The HEART of Emily Jane" is exactly what this blog is. I am opening up about some of my deepest thoughts and observations that typically are conversations only held with those closest to my heart. I hope that in some way this vulnerability on my part will take you along in this journey I'm on in my life.

I've officially been living in Phoenix for on year and a couple weeks. It's absolutely wild to think about all that has gone on in my life this past year...!!!

Valentines Day weekend I had the incredible opportunity to go on a short mission trip down to Rocky Point, Mexico with my neighborhood and several people who work at CCV. A group of about 160 of us went down for the 3 day weekend and as a whole built 6 houses (I think). My dad builds homes for a living and let me tell you, after trying to hammer in a nail and failing multiple times, I have a whole new respect for what my Dad does. I've been on mission trips in the past and also spent 4 months living in Mexico-- so this trip wasn't a big shocker/foundation rocking experience, but it was such a good reminder. It was SO nice to get away and leave behind the internet/computer/tv/cell phone and spend time in relationships with people. I loved sitting around the fire with people of all different ages in my neighborhood, listening to stories/laughing/soaking up their wisdom. After the trip it has re-emphasized this tremendous responsibility I have as a citizen of the United States. It has been nothing but the Grace of God that I happened to be born where I was and into the family I belong to. "To that who has been given much, much will be demanded"--

God has been going to TOWN in my heart since I started working at CCV. I'm going to ramble in no particular order about some stuff that has happened to me recently... One main thing He has taught me is not to find my self-worth/identity in what I do. God has placed an INCREDIBLE woman named Cheryl in my life to mentor me and speak Truth into my life in ways only my own mother has ever been able to do. I am SO thankful for her!!!! I miss my family tremendously. I miss having my best friends around more than I ever thought possible. It is SO important to pray BEFORE the fact, rather than wait till after something happens. I miss the simple life in Iowa where things move at a slower pace, there is front porch living, and community is thriving. I believe everything happens for a reason and so I have NO regrets in my life-- I've made SO many mistakes along the way but I am so thankful for what I've learned through them. I wouldn't be where I am today without the slip-ups/heartache/etc.

HUGE realization that sunk in recently...in Matthew 7:21-23 it says "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day(judgement day), 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me, you evil-doers!" WHOAH. So you're telling me that even though I've spent my whole life preaching your word and sharing with the world who you are, I missed the boat???! Here is what it comes down to and what I've woken up to. I can dive IN with my internship and impress people all I want, even see people come to know Christ-- but If I am not PERSONALLY spending time with God through my prayer life, my personal devotions, and focused on Him and getting to know Him--- then I've missed the whole point. There will be people in all kinds of ministry who forget to do this and when judgement day comes, God will say He never knew them. The point? He wants to know YOU. First and foremost, YOU. Secondly, share it with others.

*I've learned that I'm far too analytical. I over think things too much and through that time wasted in over thinking things, I am paralyzed and unable to do anything. How do I escape over thinking things? PRAY about it and journal. By releasing it through those two outlets I give it to God and no longer have to fret/worry about it. God knows what is going on in my head and if I spend too much time thinking about what I should be doing or what I think God is trying to teach me... it contradicts the entire idea of having faith and trusting God with the plans for my life. Pray about it, release it to God and give it to Him, and then enjoy your life living for Him. Period. Hmm.

*If we could just grasp for one second the vastness of Gods love, I think we would change the world. If we TRULY understood what Jesus offers us and has already done for us, I believe that RADICAL things would happen. I've realized after stepping into ministry that God will convict each individual on His own time. Just as my light bulb didn't entirely go off until a year or so ago, each person has their own timeline of catching on fire. That is strictly a God thing and not something I have any control over. Plant the seed, love others, give it to God, and pray about everything.

I LOVE sitting around and talking with others in ministry who LOVE the Lord and talking with them. There are so many times during the week the AMAZING conversations take place. Sitting in my cubicle somebody will walk by and share a new idea, a story, a revelation, etc and it is easily the HIGHLIGHT of my day. Sometimes I feel like a nut job bc I am so passionate about it and that makes me SO different than most of the people in the world. I've had lots of my good friends say, "you sound like you are in a cult now, Emily"... or, "what happened to the crazy fun Emily?" Nothing breaks my heart more than hearing that. I just wish I could shake them and make them realize/wake up to the GOOD LIFE! I'm glad I've realized I cannot do that and to give that to God to take care of. Nothing would bring more joy to my life, though... to see my closest friends and family share the same joy I have.

That's PLENTY for you all to digest for now:)

Next week I am sitting down with one of my pastors to discuss what the rest of my internship will look like (which area specifically I'll be working in, etc). Stay tuned!!!